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Sex education now includes birth control in Illinois
Sex education classes in Illinois public schools must teach birth control from now on according to a new law. Sex education has always been a divisive issue in the US. Some people, and their numerous illiterate children, think that the bible provides all the sex education anybody needs. It’s “Adam and Eve”, not Adam, a box of condoms, a tube of KY, a big black strap-on, and Eve. But now the state of Illinois has declared that public schools must teach birth control in their sex-ed classes, or have no sex-ed classes at all. Although the latter option is hardly ideal, it’s better than entrusting god with the fate of next semester’s teen moms! ENGLISH:
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Anthony Weiner to run for New York mayor
Anthony Weiner has announced he will run for mayor of New York City two years after resigning from Congress for tweeting indiscreetly. You have to give the man credit. It takes a lot of balls to go down the way he did then spring up again not two years later and announce you want to lead America’s biggest city. Now Weiner might not be a frontrunner, half of New Yorkers say they can’t see him occupying that groove in the mayor’s seat. But when you’ve got politicians embezzling, philandering, and even smoking crack, is a little indiscreet tweeting really that bad? ENGLISH:
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World Nutella Day vs. Nutella’s own evil lawyers!
World Nutella Day is back on just days after the fan supported holiday started by Sara Rosso, was shut down by Nutella’s stupid lawyers who apparently hate success. In a spontaneous act of brand suicide, lawyers for Nutella’s parent company, Ferrero, have shut down the World Nutella Day website. What possible reason could they have for doing this? Is the breakfast-condiment world experiencing a Stalinist purge of reactionary fan-originated breakfast recipes? Would Ferrero’s lawyers rather serve a subpoena on rhye than rake in profit from genuine fan support brand buzz? The Daytona Crash of 2013 was truly a sight to behold, especially if you were among 30 fans in the grandstands who were injured in…
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Lucky Dog: Mark Zuckerberg’s Puli dog Beast has 1.5M Facebook friends
Mark Zuckerberg’s dog Beast, a Puli, has over 1.5 million fans on Facebook. And he might just be the richest dog on Earth! Beast’s mother couldn’t have guessed one of her brood would be adopted by the founder of Facebook. For a dog that looks like a rag, it’s truly a rags to riches story. But like so many young pups unaccustomed to a life of privilege, Beast will face a litany of temptations. Will he have the personal fortitude to remember his roots? Or will the name Beast be added to those that went down in a booze soaked orgy of sin? ENGLISH:
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Fox News Reporter Obama Administration’s latest target
Recent reports make it obvious that the Obama Administration is going to great lengths in order to defend ‘national’ secrets from the public. Whatchya hiding Obama? After what seemed to be a routine leak by the AP about a thwarted al-Qaeda terror plot in Yemen, the Justice Department went ballistic and began obtaining months of phone records from the AP. This week we learned the Government was spying on Fox News reporter James Rosen’s personal life as part of an investigation into an alleged leak of top-secret information on North Korea prompted by a 2009 article written by Rosen. Investigators believe the intel was given to him Stephen Jin-Woo Kim, a State Department contractor, who…
Animation
China anti-foreign sentiment fanned by CCTV host Yang Rui
Chinese foreigner bashing has gone into overdrive as Beijing is in the midst of a campaign to “clean out” foreigners who live or work in China illegally. Fanning the flames is xenophobe and CCTV mouthpiece Yang Rui who was educated in Wales and whose daughter goes to school in the US. The Engrish-speaking TV host has called foreigners who live in China “trash” and described Al Jazeera reporter Melissa Chan as a “foreign bitch.” (Melissa Chan was expelled from China because of unflattering stories about China by other Al Jazeera reporters.) In a flight of fancy that could only come from the mind of a Chinese Communist, Yang Rui said foreigners pretend to date Chinese…
NATO summit, protests shake up Chicago
The 2012 NATO summit in Chicago ended with President Barack Obama vowing to end the Afghanistan war. But clashes between protesters and police stole the show. The two-day summit, held over the weekend, drew leaders from around the world to discuss the Middle East, nuclear weapons, Russia and the war in Afghanistan. While all these topics were addressed, the media paid more attention to the protesters. Protesters swarmed into the city by the thousands, and their diversity led to some confusion about what they were protesting. Protesters made headlines for such diverse reasons as ruining a wedding to police brutality. One of the largest altercations between cops and protesters involved a police van that drove…
iPhone 5 rumors: bigger screen for Jobs’ last iPhone
The new iPhone, the iPhone 5 to reviewers, is rumored to feature a bigger screen and be the last iPhone designed by Steve Jobs. The new iPhone’s 2012 release date is not known. The iPhone 5 rumor mill heated up after Apple purchased the iPhone5.com domain name. According to the rumors, this is the last iPhone for which Steve Jobs played a key role in the design. According to the new iPhone rumors, after noting the success of Android phones with larger screens by Samsung and HTC, Steve Jobs reportedly lifted his opposition to a phone too large to wrap one’s fingers around. The iPhone 5 will feature a bigger, 4-inch screen, compared to the…
Monmouth, Wales world’s first Wikipedia town
Wikipedia branched out into the real world with a project titled Monmouthpedia that went live in Monmouth, Wales on Saturday after six months of planning. Monmouth is now a Wikipedia town, which means it’s riddled with QR codes that bring information to smartphone users with the click of a button. Monmouth, birthplace of King Henry V, is the first town to play host to project, hence the title, “Monmouthpedia.” Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales said he was excited about the project. “Bringing a whole town to life on Wikipedia is something new and is a testament to the forward-thinking people of Monmouth,” raved Wales. The QR codes are printed on long-lasting plaques to ensure they’ll be…
Meet Marble, the cute cat with different colored eyes!!
Hello there, my name is Marble Chen! I have a human-sounding name because my owner insisted so!! Did you notice I have different colored eyes? One is blue and the other is green, which makes me even more precious. I live with three other cats. They might not be as pretty as I am but you should check them out too!
Facebook IPO: shares on rollercoaster ride
Facebook has gone public in an IPO that could raise more than $18 billion. Facebook priced its IPO at $38 per share and is selling 180 million shares in the IPO. The shares notched up big opening gains amid high demand and frenzied trading on the NASDAQ stock market under the ticker FB. If underwriters exercise a greenshoe option, Facebook could raise as much as $18.4 billion, making Facebook’s IPO the second-largest initial public offering in history, surpassing the value of General Motors’ IPO. Insiders have found no shortage of investors to fleece. Goldman Sachs doubled the amount of its own holdings sold in the IPO. It begs the question: if Facebook is worth owning,…
WTF!!
Crack smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford caught on tape!
Rob Ford, proud Canadian and Toronto mayor, was caught on tape smoking crack in the ghetto. Ford is famous for his heavy drinking and conservative notions of race and sexual orientation, but crack smoking might be a new low for him. The tape is in the hands of a shady character related to Ford’s deceased drug dealer Anthony Smith, who was shot to death in front of a night club two months ago. The tape will go to the highest bidder, and it allegedly shows Ford smoking rock and laughing like a hyena. Ford should take a page from Marion Barry’s book. The famous former mayor of Washington DC was caught buying and smoking crack…
Czech president Milos Zeman drunk as a skunk!
Czech president Milos Zeman was caught on tape visibly drunk in public during a ceremony to view the Czech crown jewels. Milos Zeman occupies the same office formerly held by Vaclav Havel, the poet, dissident and politician who shepherded the Czechs through the Velvet Revolution. Zeman has already developed a reputation as a hard partier, periodically slurring and staggering around Europe. But that doesn’t seem to bother most Czechs. Since claiming a “virus” caused his boozy behavior at the royal jewel ceremony, “I’m going out for a virus” has become the new Czech party call. ENGLISH:
See-thru yoga pant makers: do the downward dog!
Trendy yoga brand Lululemon was forced to recall nearly $20 million worth of the company’s black Luon yoga pants last week because they are see-through. Now customers have been complaining that Lululemon store “educators” are asking customers to drop into “downward dog” in order to get a refund. Toronto customer Christina Phillips wrote on Lululemon’s Facebook page: “The sales associate perused my butt in the dim lighting of the change room and deemed them ‘not sheer.’” The company has released a statement saying the “bend over” test is not a standard company policy, Lululemon’s CEO, Christine Day, told Bloomberg.com. Similar accounts from different customers have showed up on Twitter, Facebook and blogs after Lululemon began…
SimCity Disasters: DRM ruins game launch
SimCity Disasters: no it’s not the name of the latest SimCity expansion pack. It’s how you would describe the launch of SimCity 5. Fans are eager to play the $60 simulation game, but due to server overloads many fans have been waiting hours in frustration. The servers are overloaded because SimCity 5 requires an “always-on” internet connection. The company says this is because back-end computations take place in the cloud. But fans suspect the always-on connection is because EA Maxis wants to maintain strict DRM controls and verify no bootleg copies are played. EA Maxis hasn’t handled the crisis well. Amazon has suspended sales of SimCity 5 and players continue to report trouble accessing servers….
Miss Delaware Teen USA resigns after adult video pops up
Miss Delaware Teen USA Melissa King sent in her resignation letter after a video with someone resembling her recently surfaced on the Internet. The teenage beauty queen resigned after a pornographic movie came to light on an internet porn site. King has denied that she is the woman in the video, which was shot around the time she was Miss Teen Delaware International 2012. Maybe Donald Trump and NBC can take advantage of this and start a new pageant…say hello to Miss Porn USA! Melissa’s pageant career maybe over, but maybe this is the start of a new one in the land of sex tapes. ENGLISH:
Sony PS4 launch event falls flat
Sony officially announced the release of the PS4 in New York, but they failed to show what the console looks like or say how much it will cost. Lead design architect Mark Cerny described the new PS4 console as a supercharged PC. Using the Sony Cloud, PS4 users will be able to start a game at home and then take it mobile on their overpriced PlayStation Vita. The PlayStation Move controller can be used with the PS4 to design 3D objects and images that can be placed in different environments. The only hardware introduced at the launch event was the Dualshock 4 controller, which has a share button that allows your friends on Facebook to…
Sports
Bulls vs Heat: Bulls stun MVP Lebron James in Game 1
The Chicago Bulls went in to Miami and stunned MVP Lebron James and his Heat in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series, winning 93-86. The night started on a happy note for Miami fans as NBA Commissioner David Stern presented Lebron with his 2013 NBA MVP trophy before the game. The Bulls must not have been paying attention. With all-star Derrick Rose and Kirk Hinrich both out with injuries and Luol Deng sidelined because of an illness, Jimmy Butler and Nate Robinson both stepped in up big time in the first game against Miami. Robinson scored 27 points, and Butler chipped in 21 points and a career-high tying 14 rebounds. The Bulls were…
Tim Tebow 2013 NFL season ruined by New York Jets
Tim Tebow will no longer be Tebowing with the New York Jets in 2013 as he was waived by the NFL football team on Monday. General manager John Idzik and coach Rex Ryan told Tebow at the Jets facility on Monday morning that they were pulling the plug. If Tebow is not picked up off waivers, the Jets will have to pay him $1.5 million, due to terms of their trade with the Denver Broncos last years. The Jets will be able to free up about $1 million in salary cap space by cutting Tebow. Tebow had a less than stellar 2012 season with the Jets. He only threw for 39 yards on six completed…
Liverpool’s Luis Suarez bites player
Luis Suarez is involved in yet another controversy after the Liverpool striker bit Chelsea defender Branislav Ivanovic. Suarez started the latest fiasco on Sunday when he bit Ivanovic during their Premier League match at Anfield. The incident happened about halfway through the second half, with Liverpool behind 2-1, when Suarez sank his teeth into Ivanovic’s upper arm after a penalty-area disagreement. Ivanovic complained to the referee Kevin Friend, but Friend took no action. Suarez made a public apology last night to Ivanovic. “I am deeply sorry for my inexcusable behaviour earlier today during our match against Chelsea,” Suarez said. The Uruguay forward’s future at Liverpool may be in doubt after this latest controversy. Liverpool striker…
Kobe Bryant injury 2013: Lakers star out for the season
Kobe Bryant sustained a devastating injury during a game against the Golden State Warriors. The Los Angeles Lakers star ruptured his left Achilles’ tendon while driving to the basket with a little over three minutes left in the game. The Lakers may have ended up winning 118-116 over the Golden State Warriors, but Kobe paid a hefty price. According to Lakers trainer Gary Vitti, Kobe will be sidelined for six to nine months because of his torn Achilles tendon. Kobe’s ruptured tendon is just the latest in a string of injuries plaguing the Lakers this season. There is a little bit of silver lining to this whole debacle: Maybe his teammates will actually be able…
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